Children (Jan 30, 2009)

The pictures are missing from this blog, but I think the words paint the picture for you. I have come so far since I wrote this last year. It is truly amazing.



I think one of the hardest things a woman can hear is that she can't have a child. To those of us that desire one so bad it is a crushing feeling to know that we will never have a child in our life that is from our womb. I have grieved over this loss so many times. It could be passing a pregnant woman in the store, seeing a brand new baby, having to walk by the children's section in the store, going to a baby shower and the hardest of all... someone close to you having a child.


I experienced this feeling recently when my beautiful niece arrived in this world. Don't get me wrong, I am very overjoyed for my brother and sister in law. To hold that tiny life, just hours old, in my arms is something I will never forget. It was very hard for me to see the joy on their faces and to know that was something I would never experience. I grieved for several days over the fact that they had experienced something I never would.

With the help of a very close friend, I realized that I was not alone in the feelings I was experiencing. She helped to understand that what I was going through was normal and that she had felt the same way not too long ago. Eventually the sadness went away, for the time being, and the joy returned.


I recently had a very intimate conversation with my Daddy God. He gave me a peace about my sadness. In a still quiet voice He promised me that although I may never have a child that I carry in my womb, there would be plenty of children for me to love. The thing is, there are already children in my life that I love and new ones on the way. Our adoption process that has been ongoing could still happen. I look forward to seeing what my Daddy God has planned for me. Let me introduce you to my little loves:



My first love, Garrett. Although he is not blood related, I am still his Aunt Nonnie. He is three now.



This is my great niece, Emma. She isn't blood related either, but I wouldn't tell her any differently. She is one.


The newest love of my life, my niece Natalie. This is my baby brother's little girl and I am so thrilled she is here and that I finally got to meet her. She already has me wrapped around her little finger.


His promise came true a long time ago. I just forget how blessed I am to have them in my life.