I haven't blogged in a long time. I am in school right now and I have been super busy writing papers and doing homework.
We just found out last week that we might be moving to Thailand. This would be exciting for my family and a wonderful boost to my husband's career. I am excited and nervous at the same time. If we do move, I plan to use this blog to write about our experiences in Bangkok.
I also want to find a way to incorporate my photography into this blog. I am working on that. I think you will like what you see.
I will be back soon!
Bonnie
Friday, March 15, 2013
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Total Upheaval
Our house is utter chaos right now. The painting is finished and the floors got started on Tuesday. At the onset of this journey I was excited about the things that would happen in our house, but today it took its toll on me. I am so tired of everything not being where it is supposed to be and everything was at a standstill today.
It seems with every step we take, we find a step that our original builder took a short cut on or didn't give great attention to. This time it was our slab. When they pulled up the carpet and smashed out the tile they found a very uneven foundation. Needless to say it wasn't going to work with hardwood floors. Twenty-four bags of leveling material later our foundation is smooth. The workers left yesterday and I anticipated the installation of the floors today and started making plans to get our house back together.
The workers arrived this morning to find that all there work yesterday was not dry enough to install the new floors on. See you tomorrow was all I got today. I was devastated! One more day of chaos!
In all of this I am finding that I am somewhat of a control freak. I really didn't think I was until the remodeling process began. I confirmed that today. Well this control freak took matters into her own hands. I am going to make sure the floors are dry enough to install floors tomorrow. I have four fans running in the main part of my house and I am sure my electric meter on the side of the house is going crazy, but I don't care as long as I get what I want tomorrow.
As I think about all the short cuts we have found, I am grateful my God didn't take short cuts. His plan was perfectly implemented. I know without a doubt there is a reason for everything we go through. Even silly things like an uneven floor and material that didn't dry. It may not be recognizable to me right now, but God will show me.
It seems with every step we take, we find a step that our original builder took a short cut on or didn't give great attention to. This time it was our slab. When they pulled up the carpet and smashed out the tile they found a very uneven foundation. Needless to say it wasn't going to work with hardwood floors. Twenty-four bags of leveling material later our foundation is smooth. The workers left yesterday and I anticipated the installation of the floors today and started making plans to get our house back together.
The workers arrived this morning to find that all there work yesterday was not dry enough to install the new floors on. See you tomorrow was all I got today. I was devastated! One more day of chaos!
In all of this I am finding that I am somewhat of a control freak. I really didn't think I was until the remodeling process began. I confirmed that today. Well this control freak took matters into her own hands. I am going to make sure the floors are dry enough to install floors tomorrow. I have four fans running in the main part of my house and I am sure my electric meter on the side of the house is going crazy, but I don't care as long as I get what I want tomorrow.
As I think about all the short cuts we have found, I am grateful my God didn't take short cuts. His plan was perfectly implemented. I know without a doubt there is a reason for everything we go through. Even silly things like an uneven floor and material that didn't dry. It may not be recognizable to me right now, but God will show me.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Remodeling
I love to read blogs! I feel like I know the people whose blogs I read everyday. I look forward in great anticipation to their post that day. Reading about what they have been doing, seeing pictures of their kids, reading about the latest party they have thrown. I obviously have a blog, but I don't post much. I think at this point in my life I need to change that. I want to remember all the crazy things I get involved in, the road my husband and I travel and well....my life. I don't have children to blog about or for. It's just me, my husband and our dog. So what better day to start than today.
We are currently in a remodeling phase. In our home and in our marriage. Our home is 20 years old and is in great need of a facelift. Our relationship is 17 years old and is need of an upgrade. Honestly, I don't think we should have waited this long on either one of them, but we did. Both of these tasks are not easy and take a great deal of time and commitment. We are knee deep in both projects.
First the house.....
Looking for contractors to do the work on your home is not an easy job. You don't want just anyone working in your house and you want to make sure you get the best job for your money. Let me say that taking on both of these tasks at the same time is a true test of your marriage, but back to the house. We knew what we needed to do and what we wanted done. We started with the front door. The original builder of the home failed us in this area and our door had begun to rot from the outside in. It was horrible. I wish I had taken pictures of it, but I was too embarassed. We found a good contractor and they got to work.
Unfortunately, it still needs a few things to finish it up. But we are going in the right direction.
The interior painting has begun, but that is a whole other story.
Our marriage......
We have been married 17 years. We have had our share of hills, valleys, and potholes, but we have kept it going. The biggest thing we have going for us is that God is the head of our marriage. We don't always remember that, but we always come back to that. We decided we needed to refresh our relationship skills. Just like our home needs some updating, so does our marriage. You can't just keep going in the same direction and not expect some wear and tear so we decided to bascially "remodel" our marriage. Taking the time to look at we treat each other, react to each other, thinking about the words we do say and those we don't. Remembering to let Christ be the head of our marriage and not trying to take over. We don't have all the answers and we are still learning.
Remodeling your marriage is a lot like remodeling your home. You don't just want anyone coming in and doing the work. You want an expert. I found our experts for our home remodeling on **angie's* list**. I know where our marriage expert is and we are greatly dependent on Him.
We are currently in a remodeling phase. In our home and in our marriage. Our home is 20 years old and is in great need of a facelift. Our relationship is 17 years old and is need of an upgrade. Honestly, I don't think we should have waited this long on either one of them, but we did. Both of these tasks are not easy and take a great deal of time and commitment. We are knee deep in both projects.
First the house.....
Looking for contractors to do the work on your home is not an easy job. You don't want just anyone working in your house and you want to make sure you get the best job for your money. Let me say that taking on both of these tasks at the same time is a true test of your marriage, but back to the house. We knew what we needed to do and what we wanted done. We started with the front door. The original builder of the home failed us in this area and our door had begun to rot from the outside in. It was horrible. I wish I had taken pictures of it, but I was too embarassed. We found a good contractor and they got to work.
 |
| The whole door and entry was ripped out |
 |
| New door is hung |
 |
| Our marble choice |
 |
| Just a few more details to be done |
The interior painting has begun, but that is a whole other story.
Our marriage......
We have been married 17 years. We have had our share of hills, valleys, and potholes, but we have kept it going. The biggest thing we have going for us is that God is the head of our marriage. We don't always remember that, but we always come back to that. We decided we needed to refresh our relationship skills. Just like our home needs some updating, so does our marriage. You can't just keep going in the same direction and not expect some wear and tear so we decided to bascially "remodel" our marriage. Taking the time to look at we treat each other, react to each other, thinking about the words we do say and those we don't. Remembering to let Christ be the head of our marriage and not trying to take over. We don't have all the answers and we are still learning.
Remodeling your marriage is a lot like remodeling your home. You don't just want anyone coming in and doing the work. You want an expert. I found our experts for our home remodeling on **angie's* list**. I know where our marriage expert is and we are greatly dependent on Him.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
January Is Almost Gone.... Where Did it Go?
I can't believe it's already the end of January. I can't let it go by without thinking about what happened during the month.
I know one thing we did do, that was a lot of celebrating life.
I helped my niece get ready for my great niece's first birthday. We made a lot of the decorations. My Cricut got a work out. Everything turned out so cute. Monkeys, polka dots, and flowers everywhere.
Miss N turned two this month. We celebrated her birthday at my brother's house with friends and family.
We celebrated with friends on the birth of their second daughter. Another January birthday.
A John Deere birthday party brought our friend Mr. CJ's second birthday. So much fun to watch them on their birthdays.
And last but not least the G-man turned 5. Or should I say "King" G-man. He had a midevil party with knights and princesses.
Now I know how January got away from me so quick. A lot of life to celebrate.
This month also brought news I had been expecting for quite some time. The doctor said it is time for a hysterectomy. I knew it was coming and had been putting off talking about it. So February 23rd is the day. I have so many things to do between now and then. I need to get my house in order. I guess I need to think about things I can cook and freeze since I will be out of commission for several days.
So January comes to a close. More life to live.
I know one thing we did do, that was a lot of celebrating life.
I helped my niece get ready for my great niece's first birthday. We made a lot of the decorations. My Cricut got a work out. Everything turned out so cute. Monkeys, polka dots, and flowers everywhere.
Miss N turned two this month. We celebrated her birthday at my brother's house with friends and family.
We celebrated with friends on the birth of their second daughter. Another January birthday.
A John Deere birthday party brought our friend Mr. CJ's second birthday. So much fun to watch them on their birthdays.
And last but not least the G-man turned 5. Or should I say "King" G-man. He had a midevil party with knights and princesses.
Now I know how January got away from me so quick. A lot of life to celebrate.
This month also brought news I had been expecting for quite some time. The doctor said it is time for a hysterectomy. I knew it was coming and had been putting off talking about it. So February 23rd is the day. I have so many things to do between now and then. I need to get my house in order. I guess I need to think about things I can cook and freeze since I will be out of commission for several days.
So January comes to a close. More life to live.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Shutterfly Holiday Cards
It's time to get started on the Christmas cards. I usually don't try to take time to do it, but this year I decided to photo cards. We had some really awesome pictures made when we were in St. Lucia and Shutterfly has the cutest cards. Plus, just for blogging about it I get 50 free cards. If you blog, you can too. You can learn more about it by going to http://bit.ly/sfly2010.
I have used Shutterfly in the past, but I had no idea they had such great gift ideas. You can do a calendar http://www.shutterfly.com/calendars/wall-calendars and they have canvas wall art http://www.shutterfly.com/home-decor/canvas-wall-art?c=10196&p=2864.
So, I think I have narrowed my choice for our Christmas card this year down to this one http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/cards-stationery/holiday-love-sketch-christmas-5x7-folded-card?sortType=1&storeNode=93476 or this one http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/cards-stationery/cranberry-joy-christmas-card-5x7-flat.
Time to start deciding and get busy creating.
I have used Shutterfly in the past, but I had no idea they had such great gift ideas. You can do a calendar http://www.shutterfly.com/calendars/wall-calendars and they have canvas wall art http://www.shutterfly.com/home-decor/canvas-wall-art?c=10196&p=2864.
So, I think I have narrowed my choice for our Christmas card this year down to this one http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/cards-stationery/holiday-love-sketch-christmas-5x7-folded-card?sortType=1&storeNode=93476 or this one http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/cards-stationery/cranberry-joy-christmas-card-5x7-flat.
Time to start deciding and get busy creating.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Benefits of Blogging
Sometimes it pays to blog. Even if you know that no one reads it.
I love photography and I love pictures. I love taking pictures, editing photos and looking at photos. Shutterfly is one of my favorite companies to use for bringing my pictures to life.
Check out Shutterfly. You might be suprised at what you find and the goodies that come your way.
I love photography and I love pictures. I love taking pictures, editing photos and looking at photos. Shutterfly is one of my favorite companies to use for bringing my pictures to life.
Check out Shutterfly. You might be suprised at what you find and the goodies that come your way.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Pictures and Facebook - My Soapbox for Today
No one reads my blog and I am okay with that.
I am very annoyed with the ingnorance of people who put pictures on Facebook expecting them to be safe.
People, if you put a picture on Facebook anyone that is your friend has access to it. They can take it and save it to their computer, they can share with their friends, and now they can edit it with a photo editing program on the internet.
If you want to keep your pictures "safe" don't post them on Facebook. Educate yourself on the safety aspects of Facebook. You can limit who sees your pictures and has access to them.
Facebook is a public place. Anything you post can be shared. Don't be shocked if your pictures end up some place that you don't want them to be.
Thank you for reading. I feel better now.
I am very annoyed with the ingnorance of people who put pictures on Facebook expecting them to be safe.
People, if you put a picture on Facebook anyone that is your friend has access to it. They can take it and save it to their computer, they can share with their friends, and now they can edit it with a photo editing program on the internet.
If you want to keep your pictures "safe" don't post them on Facebook. Educate yourself on the safety aspects of Facebook. You can limit who sees your pictures and has access to them.
Facebook is a public place. Anything you post can be shared. Don't be shocked if your pictures end up some place that you don't want them to be.
Thank you for reading. I feel better now.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
My Crazy Life
First of all let me tell you how excited I am to be the "Weekly Spotlight" on It's Hip to Clip Coupons. I will admit when I first saw their post and a picture of a tutu, that I thought someone had hijacked one of my pictures. But noooo!!! IT WAS ME! Each weekend they open up their blog to showcase their readers talents. How cool is that!
My life has been so crazy lately. I am trying to get my Etsy store up and running, make tutus for the nieces, get ready for local fall craft shows and help a friend get ready for her new baby.
On top of my love of tutus, I love taking pictures. But best of all I love taking pictures of little girls in my tutus. I am so blessed to be able to have the opportunity to do just that this weekend. I have three great nieces that have a girl cousin and we are getting them all together to do their picture. In tutus of course! Four little girls. What were my niece and I thinking. We can do it and it will be awesome.
Well, off to cut more tulle. Thanks again to my new friends at It's Hip to Clip Coupons.
My life has been so crazy lately. I am trying to get my Etsy store up and running, make tutus for the nieces, get ready for local fall craft shows and help a friend get ready for her new baby.
On top of my love of tutus, I love taking pictures. But best of all I love taking pictures of little girls in my tutus. I am so blessed to be able to have the opportunity to do just that this weekend. I have three great nieces that have a girl cousin and we are getting them all together to do their picture. In tutus of course! Four little girls. What were my niece and I thinking. We can do it and it will be awesome.
Well, off to cut more tulle. Thanks again to my new friends at It's Hip to Clip Coupons.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Not Me Monday For the Very First Time
My week was so crazy, I decided I needed to join in on the Not Me Monday fun. So here it goes.
I did not venture in to the land of SMAK (Summer Music Activities for Kids) for the very first time. I did not attempt to help five children with a puppet project that I had no idea which direction it was going. I did not change the direction in the middle of the week because the original plan failed. I did not stay up in until the wee hours of the morning most of the week working to make sure these puppets were perfect. In the midst of SMAK I did not decide that I could do a maternity shoot for one of my very best friends. I did not edit most of the 174 pictures while sleep deprived. I did not come home after SMAK and take a 2 hour nap every day. I did not jump for joy on Friday after SMAK was over. I did not volunteer myself to do the slideshow for SMAK that needed to be done by Friday. Oh I almost forgot, I did not go help my friend decorate for her daughters birthday party in the midst of my chaotic week. Oh and I surely didn't spend the day running errands on Friday with my husband. And my week wasn't over on Friday. I didn't spend Saturday morning at my friends daughter's 4th birthday party. I didn't take over 400 pictures. And I didn't come home and take a 2 hour nap again. I didn't make my husband run out to the store at 7:30 Saturday night because I didn't have any DVD's for my slideshow. And I did not ask him to get to the church by 8:30 on Sunday morning to deliver that slideshow either. And to conclude my crazy Sunday, I didn't co-host a baby shower in the afternoon and then have to be at the church by 6 for our SMAK performance.
Wow, I sure wish I could say I didn't do all those things. It makes me tired just typing it again.
Happy Monday!
I did not venture in to the land of SMAK (Summer Music Activities for Kids) for the very first time. I did not attempt to help five children with a puppet project that I had no idea which direction it was going. I did not change the direction in the middle of the week because the original plan failed. I did not stay up in until the wee hours of the morning most of the week working to make sure these puppets were perfect. In the midst of SMAK I did not decide that I could do a maternity shoot for one of my very best friends. I did not edit most of the 174 pictures while sleep deprived. I did not come home after SMAK and take a 2 hour nap every day. I did not jump for joy on Friday after SMAK was over. I did not volunteer myself to do the slideshow for SMAK that needed to be done by Friday. Oh I almost forgot, I did not go help my friend decorate for her daughters birthday party in the midst of my chaotic week. Oh and I surely didn't spend the day running errands on Friday with my husband. And my week wasn't over on Friday. I didn't spend Saturday morning at my friends daughter's 4th birthday party. I didn't take over 400 pictures. And I didn't come home and take a 2 hour nap again. I didn't make my husband run out to the store at 7:30 Saturday night because I didn't have any DVD's for my slideshow. And I did not ask him to get to the church by 8:30 on Sunday morning to deliver that slideshow either. And to conclude my crazy Sunday, I didn't co-host a baby shower in the afternoon and then have to be at the church by 6 for our SMAK performance.
Wow, I sure wish I could say I didn't do all those things. It makes me tired just typing it again.
Happy Monday!
Friday, July 2, 2010
Just for Kelly's Korner - Pics of some of my tutus
These are pictures of some of the tutus I have made.
Shades of blue
Turqouise mix
Shades of pink
John Deere Lovers
Pink and blue
Hope you enjoyed my tutus! I love making them.
Bonnie
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
All Those Years Ago......
Something that I thought I was over popped back up in my life recently. I am going to be very vague so please bear with me. It's not something I thought I would ever think of again so I am using this post to gather my thoughts.
Have you ever just stopped something cold turkey? A relationship, a hobby, a habit....
Is it possible that we need closure when we stop something cold turkey. Just something to signify that it is over.
Relationships always seem to end, but there is usually something significant to cause them to end. Friendships end over disagreements, marriages end in divorce or death. People go different directions in their lives for a million reasons. Have you ever walked away from your best friend because at the time you had a choice to make? Did you ever look back and wonder what if?
Many years ago I walked away from my best friend. I had a choice to make and I to choose.
As I look back all these years later, I have such vivid memories of that best friend. I know I made the right choice, but I still wonder what if..... There are still certain things, to this day, that I absolutely love because that friend introduced me to them. That person helped shape me into the person that I am today. They introduced me to things I would never have experienced if it had not have been for them.
Thank you long lost friend. Who would I be or what would I have become if I had not walked away from you. It was a "Lovely Cruise".
Have you ever just stopped something cold turkey? A relationship, a hobby, a habit....
Is it possible that we need closure when we stop something cold turkey. Just something to signify that it is over.
Relationships always seem to end, but there is usually something significant to cause them to end. Friendships end over disagreements, marriages end in divorce or death. People go different directions in their lives for a million reasons. Have you ever walked away from your best friend because at the time you had a choice to make? Did you ever look back and wonder what if?
Many years ago I walked away from my best friend. I had a choice to make and I to choose.
As I look back all these years later, I have such vivid memories of that best friend. I know I made the right choice, but I still wonder what if..... There are still certain things, to this day, that I absolutely love because that friend introduced me to them. That person helped shape me into the person that I am today. They introduced me to things I would never have experienced if it had not have been for them.
Thank you long lost friend. Who would I be or what would I have become if I had not walked away from you. It was a "Lovely Cruise".
Sunday, April 11, 2010
What a Year! 2009
Pictures are missing from this posting also. Sorry!
Obviously it has been a long time since I have written in my blog. I was doing really good, but then I guess life got crazy and I just put it out of my mind.
I was thinking just today about some of the things I had written about earlier in the year and I decided I needed to revisit my year.
WHAT A YEAR!
I couldn't even begin to write about everything, but here are the highlights:
My brother made me an auntie in January - Natalie Cho was born. What a ray of sunshine in my life.
Little did I know, but someone that would become a really good friend of mine had a baby boy just a few days before Natalie was born. One of my new forever friends and her family - Kevin, Stacy, Riley and Clay. Part of my ever growing extended family.
February and March were pretty normal as far as I can remember, but along came April and two new babies.
My longtime friend, Jennifer, had another baby boy- Brody Jackson. And my new bestie, Sara and her husband, had a baby girl - Hailey Alexis. Wow! What a month!
In May, Chris and I celebrated 14 years of marriage. Jennifer moved back to Texas at the end of the month. Could anything get better?
In June, Chris and I went to San Francisco for 10 days. That was a fabulous trip, even if he did have to work. I got to do some exploring on my own and then we went to Yosemite.
August delivered Emma's second birthday. Wow! She is growing up too fast.
September was Disney World with the fam. Chris and I along with Jon, Tonya, Emma, and my mother in law, braved the heat. Oh did I forget to mention that at this point Tonya is about 4 1/2 months pregnant with my great niece. We had a blast. Disney with a 2 year old was incredible.
October brought the newest addition to our ever growing family. Cassidy Renee' came into this world a tiny little girl, but healthy.
And that brings us up to date. My header picture is from just the other day. It doesn't show the babies, but all of my husband's family. Christmas was fun with both families.
Needless to say I have been truly blessed this year. And the new year is starting off with a bang. Molly Joy will be here before we know it.
If you read my blog you know that God made a promise to me almost 11 months ago. He told me that I may not have a child to love that would come from my womb, but that I would be blessed with many children to love. I look back at all the babies that have come into my life this year and I am just amazed. Oh and I can't forget about all the other children that I am blessed to know and be able to love on.
It has been some kind of year - full of life, fun, sadness, pain, love, fun, adventure and new blessings. I wonder what can happen in the next four days?
Obviously it has been a long time since I have written in my blog. I was doing really good, but then I guess life got crazy and I just put it out of my mind.
I was thinking just today about some of the things I had written about earlier in the year and I decided I needed to revisit my year.
WHAT A YEAR!
I couldn't even begin to write about everything, but here are the highlights:
My brother made me an auntie in January - Natalie Cho was born. What a ray of sunshine in my life.
Little did I know, but someone that would become a really good friend of mine had a baby boy just a few days before Natalie was born. One of my new forever friends and her family - Kevin, Stacy, Riley and Clay. Part of my ever growing extended family.
February and March were pretty normal as far as I can remember, but along came April and two new babies.
My longtime friend, Jennifer, had another baby boy- Brody Jackson. And my new bestie, Sara and her husband, had a baby girl - Hailey Alexis. Wow! What a month!
In May, Chris and I celebrated 14 years of marriage. Jennifer moved back to Texas at the end of the month. Could anything get better?
In June, Chris and I went to San Francisco for 10 days. That was a fabulous trip, even if he did have to work. I got to do some exploring on my own and then we went to Yosemite.
August delivered Emma's second birthday. Wow! She is growing up too fast.
September was Disney World with the fam. Chris and I along with Jon, Tonya, Emma, and my mother in law, braved the heat. Oh did I forget to mention that at this point Tonya is about 4 1/2 months pregnant with my great niece. We had a blast. Disney with a 2 year old was incredible.
October brought the newest addition to our ever growing family. Cassidy Renee' came into this world a tiny little girl, but healthy.
And that brings us up to date. My header picture is from just the other day. It doesn't show the babies, but all of my husband's family. Christmas was fun with both families.
Needless to say I have been truly blessed this year. And the new year is starting off with a bang. Molly Joy will be here before we know it.
If you read my blog you know that God made a promise to me almost 11 months ago. He told me that I may not have a child to love that would come from my womb, but that I would be blessed with many children to love. I look back at all the babies that have come into my life this year and I am just amazed. Oh and I can't forget about all the other children that I am blessed to know and be able to love on.
It has been some kind of year - full of life, fun, sadness, pain, love, fun, adventure and new blessings. I wonder what can happen in the next four days?
Mother's Day May 10, 2009
Mother's Day is not an easy day for me. No, I didn't lose my mother, I am still blessed to have her on this earth and be able to tell her all the time that I love her and do things for her. When I woke up this morning I was hit with the sudden realization that it would be another one of those days where people all around me would be celebrating and would be standing on the outside looking in. I am not a mother. I will never be on the receiving end of a Mother's Day celebration. As I was sitting in church this morning I realized I had not dealt with these issues yet. All of a sudden this overwhelming pain hit me and I began to cry and of course feel sorry for myself.
As I was sitting there in my very own pity party in the middle of church, God began to comfort me and speak to me. He reminded me that just because I don't have children from my womb to call me mother, He has blessed with gifts beyond measure to be a motherly figure to the children in my life.
I don't like using the word godmother. But for lack of a better description I have to feel as though that is what God has intended for me. To be a God mother. To wrap the children in my life in my protective arms, love them, spoil them, instill the wisdom that God has given me and support their parents in their upbringing.
I am a protector, teacher, care giver, advisor, a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear. I am a God mother.
Thank you God for blessing my life with family, friends, and children. Thank you for reminding me that I am important to them and to their lives.
Happy God mother's Day!
As I was sitting there in my very own pity party in the middle of church, God began to comfort me and speak to me. He reminded me that just because I don't have children from my womb to call me mother, He has blessed with gifts beyond measure to be a motherly figure to the children in my life.
I don't like using the word godmother. But for lack of a better description I have to feel as though that is what God has intended for me. To be a God mother. To wrap the children in my life in my protective arms, love them, spoil them, instill the wisdom that God has given me and support their parents in their upbringing.
I am a protector, teacher, care giver, advisor, a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear. I am a God mother.
Thank you God for blessing my life with family, friends, and children. Thank you for reminding me that I am important to them and to their lives.
Happy God mother's Day!
Selfishness!? (March 9, 2009)
I am struggling even to begin to know what to title this post. The best thing I can come up with is selfishness.
I have been struggling with what I thought was a real issue. Turns out all it was me! There wasn't a problem at all. It was all in my head. I am thankful that I addressed what I thought was an issue and found out it wasn't anything at all. Don't I feel dumb!
Thank you God for reminding me to communicate with the ones I love. Help me to remember to put them first, find out what is going on and then see where I fit in to the situation. Thank you for family, friends and a husband that love me even when I think it is all about me.
I have been struggling with what I thought was a real issue. Turns out all it was me! There wasn't a problem at all. It was all in my head. I am thankful that I addressed what I thought was an issue and found out it wasn't anything at all. Don't I feel dumb!
Thank you God for reminding me to communicate with the ones I love. Help me to remember to put them first, find out what is going on and then see where I fit in to the situation. Thank you for family, friends and a husband that love me even when I think it is all about me.
Reading What I Write! (March 5, 2009)
Ok, I just decided that it is time that I go back and read what I have written. In one breath I can talk about showers of blessings, get frustrated about baby showers and turn around and talk about coping with my misery. Man, it overwhelms me to read what I have written.
If I had just gone back and read what I had written about showers of blessings maybe I never would have been in that horrible funk. I don' t know? I am truly at a loss.
I learned a hard lesson this weekend about my misery that I carry around. Sometimes it affects those around me. Yikes! I didn't even think about that. Pity parties aren't supposed to have guests. A pity party is simply for yourself. I've decided that it is time for me to "Put on my big girl panties and deal with it!" No more pity parties. No more whining to my friends. No more feeling sorry for myself. There is a reason why I am where I am. God knows why He put me here. If I am going to whine to anyone or invite anyone to my pity party the only guest will be God. He know my pain, He knows how to fix it. My husband, my mom, my friends, nor my family have the answer to my misery. God can heal the wounds! He has all the answers!
The real question is, can I remember to call God and invite Him to my pity party the next time something comes up?
God, help me to remember that you are my rock and that you have all the answers. Help me to be a better friend and not lay all my junk on them. Heal my wounds and help me to see that you know all. God, I put my emotions in your hands. Thank you for being there for me and blessing me with such sweet, dear friends.
If I had just gone back and read what I had written about showers of blessings maybe I never would have been in that horrible funk. I don' t know? I am truly at a loss.
I learned a hard lesson this weekend about my misery that I carry around. Sometimes it affects those around me. Yikes! I didn't even think about that. Pity parties aren't supposed to have guests. A pity party is simply for yourself. I've decided that it is time for me to "Put on my big girl panties and deal with it!" No more pity parties. No more whining to my friends. No more feeling sorry for myself. There is a reason why I am where I am. God knows why He put me here. If I am going to whine to anyone or invite anyone to my pity party the only guest will be God. He know my pain, He knows how to fix it. My husband, my mom, my friends, nor my family have the answer to my misery. God can heal the wounds! He has all the answers!
The real question is, can I remember to call God and invite Him to my pity party the next time something comes up?
God, help me to remember that you are my rock and that you have all the answers. Help me to be a better friend and not lay all my junk on them. Heal my wounds and help me to see that you know all. God, I put my emotions in your hands. Thank you for being there for me and blessing me with such sweet, dear friends.
Put on Your Highwaters! (March 4, 2009)
Lately I have been struggling with a huge issue in my life. Infertility. Granted this issue has been around for over a decade now, but it still seems to consume my life. I attended a baby shower on Saturday that just dug up the whole issue again. It has gotten so bad that I don't know how to comfort myself nor do others. I finally resolved that God is the only one big enough to handle it. This decision was made Saturday night and in church Sunday morning I was given the tools to deal with it. Once again, God works in mysterious ways.
The message was about getting out of the boat and walking on the water with Jesus. Taking that step of faith and telling Jesus wait for me I am coming with you. Leaving all my junk in the boat, that by the way is sinking in my case.
"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the people of old received their commendation." Hebrews 11: 1-2
My boat is filled with pain, misery and unforgiveness. Pain and misery that I have carried around for years. Pain and misery that I have laid on other people. Not being able to forgive myself for choices that I made years ago. That was a choice that I made. I can't go back and undo that choice now, it is to late. I can't remember now if I made that choice on my own or if I even consulted God. Either way it is done. He has given me the tools to deal with, but I have just never taken them down off the shelf.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11
Well, I have filled my boat so full that it is either time to walk on the water with Jesus or sink. I don't want to sink. I know I have to take that step of faith that He can take care of this. One step at a time, eyes focused ahead on the man that can take care of it all. No more burdens, pain or suffering.
"I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
Take off the socks and shoes, put on the highwaters (capris, pedal pushers, whatever it is that you call them) and let's go take a walk on the water.
The message was about getting out of the boat and walking on the water with Jesus. Taking that step of faith and telling Jesus wait for me I am coming with you. Leaving all my junk in the boat, that by the way is sinking in my case.
"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the people of old received their commendation." Hebrews 11: 1-2
My boat is filled with pain, misery and unforgiveness. Pain and misery that I have carried around for years. Pain and misery that I have laid on other people. Not being able to forgive myself for choices that I made years ago. That was a choice that I made. I can't go back and undo that choice now, it is to late. I can't remember now if I made that choice on my own or if I even consulted God. Either way it is done. He has given me the tools to deal with, but I have just never taken them down off the shelf.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11
Well, I have filled my boat so full that it is either time to walk on the water with Jesus or sink. I don't want to sink. I know I have to take that step of faith that He can take care of this. One step at a time, eyes focused ahead on the man that can take care of it all. No more burdens, pain or suffering.
"I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
Take off the socks and shoes, put on the highwaters (capris, pedal pushers, whatever it is that you call them) and let's go take a walk on the water.
Where do I go from here? (March 1, 2009)
Well, as much as I was looking forward to it I was very uncomfortable at my friend's baby shower today. Don't get me wrong I am super excited for her. You would think that after a certain period of time that it would become easier to celebrate the coming of a new life. It was not her baby shower specifically, it is ALL baby showers. I feel like an outsider, I get depressed and it just plain hurts!!! That is the only way I know how to describe it.
Both of my really good friends are getting ready to have a baby in the next couple of months. I can't live under a rock until all this passes. How do I deal with the fact that I will never have that experience? God has promised me that there will be children in my life for me to love. I know that this is true because I have already seen the results of that promise.
I am starting to wonder if I just haven't forgiven myself for not being able to have a baby. Having a baby has been the one dream that I have always had! Granted I did have the opportunity to go through fertility treatments, but I just didn't have the strength at the time and now I regret it. I let myself down. That is all it comes down to. So instead of being able to forgive myself for not going through with the whole process I punish myself every time someone close to me has a baby.
I still have one more baby shower and two births to get through (that I know of so far)! Where do I go from here? How do I get past my inability to cope with a simple party? How do I keep from grieving every time some one I love has a baby?
Desperately in need of answers!!!
Both of my really good friends are getting ready to have a baby in the next couple of months. I can't live under a rock until all this passes. How do I deal with the fact that I will never have that experience? God has promised me that there will be children in my life for me to love. I know that this is true because I have already seen the results of that promise.
I am starting to wonder if I just haven't forgiven myself for not being able to have a baby. Having a baby has been the one dream that I have always had! Granted I did have the opportunity to go through fertility treatments, but I just didn't have the strength at the time and now I regret it. I let myself down. That is all it comes down to. So instead of being able to forgive myself for not going through with the whole process I punish myself every time someone close to me has a baby.
I still have one more baby shower and two births to get through (that I know of so far)! Where do I go from here? How do I get past my inability to cope with a simple party? How do I keep from grieving every time some one I love has a baby?
Desperately in need of answers!!!
Showers of Blessings (Feb 24, 2009)
Lately my main focus has been planning a baby shower for a really good friend. You would think that planning a baby shower would be hard for someone who has never had the pleasure of being showered for a baby. There was a time not too long ago that I would have shied away from even being involved in the shower, much less the planning. Baby showers used to depress me so bad. I would get very jealous. Then it would take me days to get out of my funk.
I am having a blast making sure that this shower is just right. I am a part of making sure that my beautiful friend has an awesome day.
While I sit here and think about baby showers and being showered with gifts it made me realize that gifts are not the only thing you can be showered with and you don't have to have a baby or be getting married to be showered.
I am showered every day. My Daddy God makes sure that He showers me with blessings from the time I wake up until the time I put my head on my pillow. I have come to find out that we just need to open our hearts, hear His voice, and let Him take care of us. He will truly bless us, even if it is just something little. Lately the blessings have been flowing so freely that I need to make sure and carry my umbrella.
Sometimes baby showers aren't always the most comfortable place for a woman to be. But as women we need to make sure that we remember we are always showered with love from our Daddy God.
"Showers of blessings...."
I am having a blast making sure that this shower is just right. I am a part of making sure that my beautiful friend has an awesome day.
While I sit here and think about baby showers and being showered with gifts it made me realize that gifts are not the only thing you can be showered with and you don't have to have a baby or be getting married to be showered.
I am showered every day. My Daddy God makes sure that He showers me with blessings from the time I wake up until the time I put my head on my pillow. I have come to find out that we just need to open our hearts, hear His voice, and let Him take care of us. He will truly bless us, even if it is just something little. Lately the blessings have been flowing so freely that I need to make sure and carry my umbrella.
Sometimes baby showers aren't always the most comfortable place for a woman to be. But as women we need to make sure that we remember we are always showered with love from our Daddy God.
"Showers of blessings...."
Hopes and Expectations (Feb 20, 2009)
One of these days I am going to learn not to put my hopes in people. I always get upset when I expect too much. It is hard to remember to put my hopes in God. He won't disappoint me like people do.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” Lamentations 3:24
We put our hopes and expectations in family, spouses, and friends. We forget to put our hopes in God. Lately I have been experiencing great disappointment from my brother. Now I don't know why I am expecting so much from him because we have never really been close. When our family found out that him and his wife were expecting their first baby, I decided that this chasm between us could be bridged. I tried my best to do what I thought a sister would do for her brother. I desired nothing more than to have a close relationship with my brother and sister in law. Well evidently it was not as important to him as it was to me. My hopes of having a close relationship with my brother were dashed. And with that comes the disappointment of not being able to get closer to my sister in law and niece. Don't get me wrong it is still my desire, but there must be another way that I am supposed to reach him. All I want is to be the sister, sister in law and aunt that God wants me to be.
If we put our hopes and expectations in God, He will never let us down. He will fill those needs for us, hold us in His arms when we need that comfort and remind us that we will be blessed for those things we do that we think no one else notices. Family, spouses and friends are not always reliable. If we remember that they are only human it makes the disappointment not so heavy.
Thank you God for always being there for me when no one else is. Thank you for the comfort you provide and for reminding me that you notice everything I do even when those that I want to notice it don't.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” Lamentations 3:24
We put our hopes and expectations in family, spouses, and friends. We forget to put our hopes in God. Lately I have been experiencing great disappointment from my brother. Now I don't know why I am expecting so much from him because we have never really been close. When our family found out that him and his wife were expecting their first baby, I decided that this chasm between us could be bridged. I tried my best to do what I thought a sister would do for her brother. I desired nothing more than to have a close relationship with my brother and sister in law. Well evidently it was not as important to him as it was to me. My hopes of having a close relationship with my brother were dashed. And with that comes the disappointment of not being able to get closer to my sister in law and niece. Don't get me wrong it is still my desire, but there must be another way that I am supposed to reach him. All I want is to be the sister, sister in law and aunt that God wants me to be.
If we put our hopes and expectations in God, He will never let us down. He will fill those needs for us, hold us in His arms when we need that comfort and remind us that we will be blessed for those things we do that we think no one else notices. Family, spouses and friends are not always reliable. If we remember that they are only human it makes the disappointment not so heavy.
Thank you God for always being there for me when no one else is. Thank you for the comfort you provide and for reminding me that you notice everything I do even when those that I want to notice it don't.
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